All the best intentions in the world mean nothing if they aren’t followed through on.
The last month has been a slow spiralling downhill decline. My mind has been blank, the emotions have ruled, and the exhaustion has made itself comfortable.
The inability to deal with these things hit a couple of weeks ago when dealing with a customer at work. Thankfully I had a period after that call to recollect, and I managed to hold it together during the call.
I am thinking that not writing things down may have caused things to pile up and fester.
So it is time for me to start writing every day again, and getting everything out so that I can go about getting a proper, well rested sleep to tackle the days as they come.
Having said that, not everything has been bad recently. I may have man flu with my throat being on fire, and having to cover rent for the empty room for two weeks resulting in paying over half my pay on rent, but I will move on to positive things.
Husuband bought some Strepsils throat spray with anaesthesia to numb my throat. I also have some great news regarding my personal life. I am no longer a single man struggling through this life alone! I met a wonderful guy, went on a fair few dates, and now we are in a relationship! He is kinda and caring, and a laugh riot to be around. It is still early stages, and trying to not do my typical thing of putting all eggs in one basket with it, but more taking things as they come and enjoying having someone who can make me smile from receiving a text from them, and anticipate seeing them whenever I can.
He knows the negatives that I am dealing with a the moment, and is aware that they are things that I am working on to remedy ASAP.
Through discussion with the hunk of ridiculous hotness (HRH), a fire for travel has been lit and I want to get out of the country as soon as I possibly can. And when I say that, I don’t mean forever, but for exploration and horizon broadening. So said hunk and I are looking at going to Sydney at some point for a long weekend, and I am also hella keen to head to the Pacific Islands somewhere for a week or two to attempt to tan my creamy mayo skin.
With regards to work stresses, those are still alive and kicking with late shifts starting after one more week of early shifts. No rest for the wicked! I have, however, planned to get some skates to hasten the trip from work to the bus, and from the first bus to the second. This will also be great in summer as I will be able to just skate home from town (depending on how hard it is to skate up hill :S ). Thankfully my husuband knows a thing or two about skates from her roller derby days, and has agreed to help me shop for some decent skates. WA HOOOOOO!
Now to talk about the anxiety fun. I think the last time I spoke in-depth about it, I had just changed from one medication to three medications. This cocktail of drugs appears to be helping more than the one as the anxiety has mostly come under control. With the amount of things happening in my life at the moment, I kind of forgot about the Beat the Blues course, so will make sure to pick this back up ASAP so that hopefully I will manage to successfully beat the beast, and maybe one day be able to stop the medication.
It is also interesting when I forget to take the medication one time (as I have done once before), which had a HUGE effect on the following day, resulting in me sending a message to my good friend at work saying “I AM NOT DOING OK”. Thankfully she is an amazing human being, and seems to be able to calm and sooth the monster back into submission.
Unfortunately, being sick throws out all strength and I awkwardly burst into tears on Friday night as I was feeling utterly shitty, and in a large amount of pain all through my body. This caused me to have to go to bed, and my man thing having to go home to prevent him getting sick too (I don’t think this was successful as he is getting sniffly. Sorry babes).
I am normally a relatively sensitive person, but being ill just heightens this 1000 fold and turns me in a gooey puddle of emotions, so I sit here in bed today with my medication, and abundance of water to prevent further embarrassment with emotions, and trying to rest up to beat this sickness bitch ASAP.
HRH referred me to Stranger Things, and I have watched a couple of episodes of that on Friday night, and also told Husuband about it, so I feel it will be something that we end up watching. Today, however, spurred by Pokemon Go, I am watching the original Pokemon series.
For now, I am going to put Pokemon back on, and possibly nap.