This will be an interesting blog for me to write as the throws of anxiety are in full force, and creating a tsunami of havoc internally.
This blog is written with tear filled eyes after a call to the Anxiety New Zealand help line.
It’s amazing how big things become when anxiety is involved. The mess it creates, and the other effects that the anxiety has stem further than the brain. For instance, this afternoon it caused waves of sick feelings, rapid speaking, and the shakes.
The result of this was me having to leave work for fear of throwing up, or crying on a phone call with a customer. Once home, I have crawled into bed, and spent the majority of the last 2 and a half hours on the edge of tears, and the remainder of the time actually in tears.
Side note, I have a watch-cat sitting on my knee giving me purring head boops as if to reassure me that everything is ok. She is a beautiful cat, and we have a special bond.
On the phone with the lady from the Anxiety New Zealand help line, we talked through my desire, and the necessity to establish some coping mechanisms to control and shrink the feelings of turmoil. She gave me a few things I can try, and these I shall list below. Both for myself in the future, and anyone reading this.
- With closed eyes, breathe in deeply through my nose for 3 seconds, hold for 3 seconds, and breathe out slowly through my mouth for 3 seconds.
- If something extra is required, (with eyes closed) clench fists while inhaling deeply through my nose, then slowly relax my fists as I exhale slowly through my mouth. Rinse and repeat for shoulders, stomach, thighs, and calves. Finished off by the whole body.
- Mental visualisation. Close my eyes and picture walking through the forest, feeling the breeze, and hearing the trees rustle. Or picture walking along the beach with the warm sun beating down, and the feeling the sun underneath my feet.
- The lady also suggested verbally acknowledging when I feel the anxiety coming on, and saying “Yes, this is anxiety. And I am in control of this. This will not beat me down.”
- She also suggested writing down how I feel when the anxiety is coming, or is full throw. To allow me to get it out and unwind the tangle of mess in my head.
THIS is what I was looking for when I went to the work funded councillor. Some actual coping mechanisms to try. Don’t get me wrong, I am under no illusion that there is a quick fix to all my anxiety issues, and no mechanism that is universally magic at cooling the anxiety fire. I full understand and accept that anxiety is a journey, and with each journey, it is different for every person who stumbles along the path. What I plan to do is gather a collection of coping mechnisms and noting them down here for me to try, and also pass them on to others who may need them in the future. This way, I will be able to work out what works best for me, and what works for others may be available in my writings.
I appreciate every single person who reads this, and follows my journey. I understand those who read for the purpose of following what is happened, but would also appreciate messages from people with their journies, trials, and solutions so that we can walk hand and hand without feeling like this is something that we are dealing with alone.
I am also open to answering questions, and building friendships.
So don’t be scared to contact me through the blog. I will respond.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
– Reinhold Niebuhr